Cat's Q&A
by Maudie Stirling
Summary: This is sort of like an advice column, answered by Cat and other characters. Please send in questions for me to answer!
1. Chapter 1

Dear Billy,

What was with the white room?

Sincerely,

I Can't Believe Your Interior Decorating Sense.

_Oi, you – whatever your name is. What's wrong with it? I had a designer suggest it, and I'm pretty sure I impressed Cat. (Chuckle) I sure had her that time, didn't I? Anyways, I know I looked very handsome. My butler said so._

_ Billy._

* * *

To Cat or Billy,

How did you feel at the ball in Bath?

Really Curious

_To Really Curious -_

_Which part exactly? I was excited at having a new dress, but a certain someone had to spoil my evening. Though talking to Sam was very pleasant. I purposely didn't let Billy answer this question._

_From Cat _

* * *

**I have had 3 visitors and 1 only one bothered to comment. Then a friend gave a suggestion. Please review, even if it's just to say this should go on, or it won't continue for much longer.**


	2. Chapter 2

To Lizzie,

I am going to a party next week and I'm not sure what I should wear. Do you have an idea?

Worried

_Dear Worried,_

_I'm sure if your friends are true they would not judge you on your clothes. However, here are some suggestions if you think it really matters. If you are going to a casual get-together with street folk I doubt they would bat an eyelid if you turned up in your grubbiest garments, themselves having experienced hard times. But if you are up the top on the social ladder and are attending a formal ball, I would urge you to wear your best if you want to avoid icy stares or, if you are really unlucky, drinks shoved at you and an order to play waiter. I hope this helps your decision and that you have fun!_

_Sincerely,_

_Lizzie_

* * *

To Syd,

There are some older boys who are bullies at my school who have decided to pick me as their target. They call me names and tease me. What should I do?

Desperate

_Desperate,_

_Lemme at 'em! 'Ow dare they beat up someone younger, do they 'ave no pride? You just send 'em to me, an' they won't be no problem when I'm finished with 'em – oh. Cat says I'm 'ere to help, not rage. 'Fraid you'll 'ave to ask 'er 'bout smart comebacks, the best I can think of is, 'Meet you 'ere at 5pm, we'll see who's champ then' but I don't think that'll be much help._

_ Sorry,_

_Syd_

**I hope you like it so far. If you do, please send in questions because I can't come up with many. This might go on for about 5 pages, depending on if people like it and I have enough questions.**


	3. Chapter 3

To the Duchess,

What would you do if someone told you the world was going to explode tomorrow?

Just Wondering

_My dear Just Wondering,_

_I would give the person a good hard slap around the face and hope that they get their sense back before causing some real damage, or perhaps give them a good hard slap around the face and scold them for their rudeness. They are required to first report to my footman should they wish to talk to me, who would deny them entry to my home if they told him their purpose._

_ The Duchess_

* * *

To J-F,

How did you feel when you realized Cat was a spy? Do you think of her as a friend or something else?

Catroyalfan149

_Catroyalfan149,_

_I felt a little hurt as I thought perhaps she only befriended me to find out information. But then everything came out, and I got to know her more on our trip on the barge. I think of her as a friend and fellow ballerina – what else?_

_ J-F_

* * *

To Frank,

What are you doing at school? Is Charlie still fun?

Lisa W.

_Dear Lisa,_

_School is, and always will be a complete waste of time. Of course Charlie is still fun – I wouldn't be able to survive through my terms if otherwise. We have improved the Avon's Rear Protector so that it is comfortable to wear at all times, should the principal want you at his office at an unexpected timing._

_From Frank_


	4. Chapter 4

To Billy,

There is a girl at my school and I really like her. She is a popular person and I'm afraid that if I don't ask her out soon someone else will. What should I do?

Nervous

_Nervous,_

_I normally wouldn't reply to these soppy questions, but it seems that you really need my advice. If your competitors are threatening, deal with them right away. Don't worry about the less dangerous offenders. Now to make sure she is impressed and agrees to court you: If you are someone like me – naturally dashing and handsome, that is – go up to her the next available moment and she'll fall under your spell. If you are less fortunate, tidy yourself up a little and give it your best shot. If you can get access to a reasonable knife you can show her some tricks, but otherwise you'll just have to charm her._

_Billy._

* * *

Dear Pedro or Jenny,

What was it like being a slave, and in San Domingo?

Lavender B.

_To Lavender,_

_I sincerely hope you never get to experience it. Cat was a lovely mistress, but Mr. Hawkins is a true devil. I shouldn't like to go into the details of working for him, but most slaves have to take the unfairness of tiny meals, almost no rest and cruel labor. In San Domingo we knew we were doing the right thing, and so the hardships were easier to bear._

_Best wishes, Jenny_

* * *

To Cat,

How did you feel when you got that tattoo?

Hanna

_To Hanna,_

_I was furious. Of course, my shipmates weren't to know I was a girl, but I don't think anyone should be forced to have something printed on their body. And look at all the trouble it caused._

_Cat_

* * *

**Thanks to all the people who commented - one person. For the rest of you, I hate to show my feelings but I am frustrated and annoyed. You dare read this without commenting. What happened to all my fans and reviewers?**


	5. Chapter 5

For Rabbie,

How do you deal with annoying sisters? What was the most embarrassing thing Cat did to you?

Josh

_To Josh,_

_Just ignore them, if you can. Wi' Cat she's always off doing something or another, so she doesn't fash me for long. But, remembering back to the Bruces, you've got to say something canny that'll bumbaze them all and they'll usually at least leave you alone for a while to think up comebacks. The most embarrassing thing? When Cat tried to mop me up and those sheriffs came in, I suppose. Or when she blew a kiss to me in public at my first boxing match. Luckily for the daftie I won._

_Rabbie._

* * *

To Mr. Kingston Hawkins,

Do you ever feel bad about what you're doing? Why do you have slaves?

Jodie

_Jodie,_

_Are you black or white? I am guessing white, as it would be all over the papers if a black dared ask such despicable questions to someone like me. Do I feel bad, you ask? What about? Putting slaves where they belong, working them to produce things much needed in the community? And why do I have slaves? Observe, child, your surroundings. The clothes that you wear, if made out of cotton, can be found because slaves are worked to produce such things. The tea that you drink, with sugar, tell the same story. Slaves are black people – or Scottish rascals like someone I could mention – that deserve no better. And if you ask me, abolitionists are blacks with white skin._

_I dearly hope you see sense soon._

_Mr. Kingston Hawkins_


	6. Chapter 6

**This is for Yeah Her and Ali-3-the-world for bothering to comment. For those of you who didn't and aren't considering doing it, be grateful.**

* * *

To Mr. Tweadle,

I think you are so mean for doing what you did to Cat. Still – what happened on the night your shop burnt down? Where are you and Nokes living now?

Jeanie

_Jeanie,_

_What I did was for the good of all Convent Garden. Cathy had a great talent for writing which had to be published, if a little altered. I was intending on paying her for her manuscripts at the end of her time as my maid, a generosity beyond humankind as I'm sure you'll agree._

_Do you know anything about that night? If so please contact the magistrate as I'm sure London would like to avenge the wrecker for destroying its favourite shop. I'm surprised it wasn't all over the papers the next morning – perhaps the journalists were delayed. As I still stand _loco parentis_ to Nokes, we live together somewhere I shall neglect to describe to you._

_Mr. Tweadle_

* * *

Dear Bridget,

Do you ever miss your brothers? How do you feel about Cat and her other friends?

Spixroo43

_To Spixroo43,_

_Once my brothers used to be nice, before they got drunk and bad-tempered. Sometimes they brought home little gifts for me, for example a broken toy found on the side of a road that could be mended to last a few days. I do miss those times, but Cat and the others have treated me well all the time, never changing their moods in a blink of an eye like my brothers did. Cat is like a sister to me; the Earl lives to his title in kindness, Syd looks after us all._

_Best wishes, Bridget_

* * *

Dear Mr. William Shepherd,

I hope your business is thriving. I have some questions that I would be delighted if you could answer: would you kill Mr. Fletcher if you could? Do you know about Miss Royal's tattoo?

Sincerely, Miss Evanna

_Miss Evanna,_

_Thank you for your concern about my business, I have traded with France, Spain, Germany and even Norway. Since you have asked so politely, I could spare some time to enlighten a lovely young lady. If it were a fair fight – I am an honest man with a reputation to look after – I would most certainly kill him. He has caused too much trouble in Convent Garden. Cat's – what? I never knew she had a tattoo…_

_Mr. Shepherd_


	7. Chapter 7

Dear Cat,

Are you thinking of settling down yet? Do you think you might marry anyone?

Cherry

_Dear Cherry,_

_I think I have a lot more to do before settling down with anyone. As you can imagine, it would be difficult to star in plays or travel the world with a baby clinging on to my back. As for marrying, my friends are sweet in their own ways and will support me in whatever I do, but I have not yet found anyone special._

_Sincerely, Cat_

* * *

To J-F,

What is it like being in charge of a whole court? You must feel very important, being the king of all your people.

Alice

Ma Cherie _Alice,_

_I have a lot of responsibility, as I'm sure you know. Being the 'king' of my thieves mean that I must try my hardest to help them when they are in a fix – like when Annette wasn't quick enough with her pick-pocketing and got caught by the man. Important? Well, I suppose I am while the citizens of Paris care for my thoughts, but I am powerless if they turn their backs._

_J-F_

* * *

Dear Syd,

How did you feel when Cat rejected you? Do you like anyone else?

Amanda

_Ye sure dig 'ard into my business, Amanda. I knew somewhere deep inside that there was no chance; we were too sibling-like. But a man's got to try, an' at least we're still friends. Nah, no one could top Cat. An' even if I did … my confidence has been dented._

_From Syd_

* * *

**Thanks to my two supporters again, but I have decided to stop. This has gone on for two pages longer than intended (one for each of you), and I am sort of satisfied. To Yeah Her I am especially grateful, for your awesome advice and attempt to cheer me up. So...bye! (Until my next story, which I hope will have more reviewers.)**


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